“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.”Proverbs 18:22
When I first laid eyes on Kristi Crossen, I knew she was special. She had a spark about her that was not only attractive, but also contagious. She was sarcastic and confident on the outside. Overtime I learned she had some insecurities and pain from her past. She was funny! I have been telling her for 25 years that she is the funniest person I know. She makes me laugh like no one else. My fist day at a new job, she trained me. I was in love and didn’t know how to go about telling her.
It was my second year at College. We went to a Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. Before college, I never had been to Missouri. It was all a shock, but I really enjoyed my time in school. I worked as one of those annoying telemarketers. Yes, I know! “Hi, this is Ray, calling from MCI the long distance company…” I still have my sales pitch memorized 😐. It was a stressful job, but I made great money and got myself through college.
At that time, there was a dress code – button up shirt, tie, slacks, trimmed hair, and no facial hair. I didn’t have much of a problem with it, knowing it was only for a few years. What I didn’t like was that it didn’t matter if you were wrinkled, looked like you crawled out of bed, or looked totally disheveled – as long as you had the right clothes on. You hair didn’t have to be combed as long as it was short. Ugh! So, I decided to stage my own quiet rebellion. I would wear the dress code, but I would wear the same exact thing everyday for the rest of my time there. Green jeans (yes, these were allowed! 🤔), tan shirt, skinny leather tie, shoes, and a lama skin vest for colder weather! You should have seen me! I looked silly, but I was in dress code with no one to impress.
I’m telling you this because it’s important. After a year and a half in this getup, my friends were disgusted and they told me I’d never get a girl in these clothes. “Fine by me,” I said and just kept on going. Well, cue February 24, 1997 – the day I stepped into a new job that would be less stressful than telemarketing. (Btw, I still worked at MCI – I just couldn’t give up the money.) my regular trainer was out that day and my boss sat me with Kristi Crossen. For the first time, I took note of the silly clothes I had been wearing, lama skin vest and all! Oops!
The next several weeks were me trying to find other clothes! Since it had been so long that all I wore were those silly green jeans and the tan shirt, I had no options. My friends came to the rescue on my birthday in March and bought be an entire set of clothing – with cuff links!! Hey, I went from pauper to prince overnight! 🙌
With my new clothes and new mission to capture Kristi’s heart, I went to work. Hmmm, how can I be around Kristi? Ok, we work together, have 1 class together, what else….? How could I find a way for us to drive to work together? As luck would have it, my car started giving me trouble and had to go into the shop for a few days. I knew a couple other coworkers were riding with Kristi so I asked if I could join them. Success. Over the next several days, I conveniently didn’t tell her I had my car back. So, everyday, I got to spend a little more time with Kristi.
I asked her to go out with me. She said no. Crud. Oh well, I’ll see her everyday and maybe she’ll say yes someday. Every time I’d ask, she say no. I know she liked me and I liked her. Hmm, keep trying.
Side note: there is a fine line between persistence and being a stalker. As soon as advances are not reciprocated, back off!
She finally said she would go out on one date with me. I had gotten to know her pretty well so I had a plan. Make it the best and most engaging date in her life – and make it last for hours. So I picked her up at 10:00am and dropped her off right at curfew at 11:00pm. That’s right! Over 12 hour date! We had a picnic, picked out some CCM cds, had Dunkin’, talked about missions, ministry, life, likes, dislikes, Africa, Costa Rica, and hale-bop. Yep, Hale-bop the commit was in the sky that night. I actually bought a telescope for us to look at it – just for the date.
After that incredible time, it didn’t mean that we were dating. I still had to keep chasing her down. Eventually, she invited me to visit her grandparents in Reuter, Missouri. Reuter is a tiny place in the hills outside of Branson. It’s a beautiful place with trees, hills, cows, wild Turkey, blue sky, and the imagery found in Mark Twains writings. Kristi’s grandparents own hundreds of acres for cows and hay.
Meeting Harding and Maxine Wyman has been one of the highlights of my life. They are incredible people with incredible hearts. I reminisce about Maxine’s breakfast and Harding’s care for his animals – it’s inspirational. I can still smell the early morning eggs, biscuits, and bacon Maxine would make to get us out of bed. Hardy and his hard to understand voice would sound, “ah sis!” as Kristi would tell of her latest college experience.
Hardy and Maxine were great. That day, something shifted in my heart as well as Kristi’s and on the way home, we officially began dating. It might have been that Maxine thought that I was working boy as she commented on my Doc Martin boots. 😎 I love those two! What an incredible heritage Kristi has!
The summer was a blur as Kristi moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to work at a church. It was a 2 and a half hour drive for me, but I made sure to make the trek several times a month. I worked at ANPAC, Roadway Express, and MCI that summer. I knew that I would need money in the bank if I was going to propose to Kristi. I was also able to visit Kristi’s family and made the trip to Edmond, Oklahoma several times.
On Kristi’s birthday, I gave her a trip to New York City. We flew out of Kansas City into Reagan, then took a cab into downtown New York City. I had planned a 24 hour date. I had to get special permission from my parents, her parents, and the school to make it happen. We walked all over NYC, we saw the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty (from a distance), and the trade towers. I didn’t know that those towers would someday be significant in my life. I also got us tickets to Phantom of the Opera at the Majestic Theatre on Broadway. By the time the show let out, it was late at night and the city was alive! Lights, people, noise – truly the city that never sleeps. We jumped in the cab and we’re back at the airport to fly back to Kansas City then on to Springfield! What a date!
In August, the 19th to be exact, I took Kristi back to the parking lot where we saw Hale-bop the commit and asked her to be my wife. She said yes!
December 20, 1997, I became the lucky husband of Kristi Crossen. We became inseparable.
I’m writing all this down because I am convinced that God worked through our beginning to equip us for this season of our lives. We not only made a commitment to one another in 1997, but we also renew this commitment each year. We say “I do” every year. It hasn’t always been easy. It hasn’t always been fun. It hasn’t always been without incredible trials. But, remembering what God has done and allowing the disagreements, emotional challenges, health struggles, moves, infertility, hard headedness,every conflict, along with great romance and love, we are inseparable. God has brought us together and try its hardest, life will not keep us apart.
So, I found a treasure. Solomon was right!
More to come….eventually.
ray on life 